Archive for November, 2015

Ugly thoughts? Here’s what to do.

Friday, November 13th, 2015

I recently had a situation where someone close to me was experiencing some pretty ugly thoughts about life. It affected both of us, big time. The energy got low. Fast. Like a plane crash fast. The whole thing was ugly.

What do you do when your headspace gets ugly? It can sometimes feel like a hurricane, right? Like this huge volume of energy that just completely runs you over. Annihilation. Wiped out, bowled over, flattened. Ouch.

When it happens do you sit in the funk or do you do something about it?

Let’s get honest here. Life is not all about roses, rainbows and unicorns. There is a fair amount of shitty things that happen in life and its not a matter of ignoring them or trying to see the positive in every situation. You don’t want to show up like pollyanna and just annoy the crap out of everyone.

However, it is True that it’s not what happens, it’s how you respond to what happens.

So, how do you respond when your headspace gets ugly? And there is a good chance some of your ugly thoughts from yesterday will be dragged into today. We have around 60,000 thoughts a day and guess what – around 59,000 are the same as yesterday. Eek! That helps to see why change can be a slow process and why its so important for us to master our minds.

This is why its so important to practice be present to what we are thinking. Meditation is amazing and a great practice but do you ever take time to be present to what you are thinking?

If you said your thoughts out loud what would it sound like? Is it a conversation that you would wish to have with someone else? Fun and enjoyable, or maybe full of rage or just plain crazy?

Here are my tips when your brain space gets in a funk:

1) Become aware. Simply notice that you are in a mood, having a rant and letting the ugly thoughts flow. This will be determined by your mood – ugly feelings follow ugly thoughts.

2) Create some space between you and your thoughts. If you are a visual person see space between yourself and your thoughts – maybe you will see them like the ticker tape on Wall Street. A stream of consciousness. If you are more of an aural person then ask yourself – is what I’m even thinking true?

3) Realise you are not your thoughts. You are limitless source energy in a body. When you allow your mind to have ugly thoughts and let it run riot you are diminishing yourself – especially by buying into it. You are not your story. Remember you are limitless source energy in a body. And your soul is neutral – it doesn’t do drama and trauma. It’s just love! So your job is – “How do I return to love in this moment?”.

4) Give it a time limit. Your mission is to stay in flow as much as you can. From flow comes effortless manifestation. When you bump yourself out of it you are merely slowing yourself down by creating resistance. So place a timer on for 3 minutes, have a rant, rave and then let it go. You don’t want to deny your human experience but do you really want to stay out of the field of creation? – hell no! Realise that if you want to stay in the ugliness longer than this you are engaging in self sabotage. Give yourself a kick in the pants and get out of there.

5) Create a disruption. When you get into ugly thoughts there is usually only one way forward and that is down, down, down. If you can create a disruption then you can break yourself free from the thought process which is playing havoc on your chemical reactions and your feelings that will be created in your body. Say a mantra, have a boogie, drink some orange juice – ( has a positive effect on your system for creating feel good hormones) or watch something funny online to make you laugh. Call a friend and ask them to say 3 nice things about you. A problem shared is a problem solved – but look to be the solution to your own problem rather than just dropping it on someone else.

I believe the greatest mastery comes from self discipline and putting the effort in to get the results we want. In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell states to be successful you need 10,000 hours on your subject of choice to become a master of it. You have already had that time within your own thoughts!

Can you say you have mastered them?

Time to bump up your game perhaps?

Sending you love and light always. Remember love is patient and kind but love also doesn’t put up with shit.

Acknowledge the ugliness but let it go and return to love.