Archive for January, 2016

What’s your definition of success?

Thursday, January 14th, 2016


To me, it’s feeling good.

It’s feeling happy and taking action in my own way to create a life I love.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you are doing life wrong. In fact, turn off your TV as that’s where most of the critics live…telling you to eat this food, buy that shampoo, dumping fear straight into your living room. Telling you what you “should’ be doing to be successful.

Some of best advice I’ve ever received is “TV sucks your brain out”. I think it takes your self esteem and courage with it.

Coming back to success though – what does it look like for you? Does it mean millions in the bank? A loving relationship? A college degree? 3 kids and a white picket fence?

How about what success may mean for you in this moment? Perhaps it’s the smell of an amazing meal you have cooked for your family. The phone call from a friend where they just need to speak to you. Maybe it’s turning the corner on depression, forgiving someone, letting an old hurt go.

Don’t define success by external measures. If you take the time to reflect on this I am sure you will see that you are wildly successful – every single day.

If you have big, lofty goals that you are working towards, brilliant. Remember, though, that you are already successful in ways you have not appreciated, it’s only that our society doesn’t extend value to them as a measure of success.

The definition of success is “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose”. So what if your purpose is just to be happy?

Give yourself a pat on the back. Marvel at your ability to keep going, to keep showing up, to keeping loving.

The real truth is, you have already arrived.

Sending you love and light,

Breaking Up with Self Sabotage.

Wednesday, January 6th, 2016

Dear Self Sabotage,

This has been a long time coming; most of my life, but I’m writing to let you know that it’s over between us.

I appreciate that you showed up with the intention of trying to keep me safe at a really young age. You were there for me when I made the decision it wasn’t right for me to be here on the earth. You felt like a friend and an ally; something I could turn to that would make me feel better about being here. You were my consolation. You helped me to dim my light, to not be so visible and to become smaller in the world so I could fit in. You made me feel safer about being here. I thank you for helping me through some dark times.

We both know that you have been the most dominant in our relationship and I want to be free. You have shown up in so many different ways it has completely bewildered me how strong you have been in my life. You were there when I rejected the love of my life before he could reject me. You have been there every time I have eaten too much in an effort to feel safe. You have enjoyed it every time I have moved into distraction and away from my goals. You have shape shifted a million different times, never quite visible but always there, just outside of my grasp.

Living with you has felt like dancing with the devil. Once I would have felt that it was imperative to be with you – how can you dance with yourself?

Now I know it’s better to just be me. To dance with freedom, love, expression, joy and delight. And all the others, waiting to dance with me.

So thank you for all you have taught me. I am grateful for what I have learnt. I am grateful I KNOW how you move and shift and slide, unwelcome, into people’s lives. I can now see you at distance and know how to stay away.

You see, I have grown more powerful than you. I now make choices which don’t include you. You were part of my past but you will not be there to see my future.

Sending you this letter collapses the paradigm. I’m sending you into the light.

It’s the year for completion, after all.

With love and respect,