Archive for October, 2016

On becoming an AMAZING Lover!

Wednesday, October 26th, 2016

Are you a fair weather lover?

Do you love it when it’s good but you’re out of there when the clouds come in?

But how can you truly love someone if you can’t love their dark side, right?!

We have seen a back lash in the world of positive psychology of being happy and positive all the time. Finally, we are now seeing more integration of our light and dark which is a massive shift towards wholeness.

The beauty of being in relationship is that person teaches you about yourself – namely you embracing your own dark side so you can also embrace the dark side in others.

If you want to be an exceptional lover you feel.


The joy, ecstasy and rapture but also the despair, disconnection and despondency. A true lover is not afraid to feel. They embrace it all and place a high value on their feelings. It is only when we displace our feelings that they become out of control, irrational and frightening to ourselves and others. This is about complete ownership of your experience.

What is sexier than the person who can be there for you when you are falling apart? Who can be still with you while you feel your pain, trusting in your experience and having faith that it will pass?

What does it take to be that person? Integration of your own light and dark.  Acceptance of what you feel, no matter what. No matter what society says is appropriate – i.e. men don’t cry and women don’t get angry, for example. No matter what your family says is the way you should behave, no matter what limitations you place on yourself.

Every feeling fully felt is bliss.

So if you want to be an amazing lover take the time to feel. Honor your emotions. We spend so much time rush, rush, rushing that we simply don’t give ourselves space. This is why people marvel when kids do so well meditating instead of doing detention – because it is creating a space for them to be!

Then of course we come to fear. A lot of people would rather die than feel their feelings. This is where we see self medication and addiction rear it’s ugly head. It’s simply a distraction to take you away from feelings you perceive to be uncomfortable.

This is what all healers do – they live in present moment.

If you are going back to the past to clear some old hurt, feeling or emotion that has been trapped in your psyche then it pays to do it with someone who can be in the present moment with you. With someone who has had the courage to do the work themselves, who has the empathy and understanding to hold your hand in the dark.

You only need to look at the areas of your life that you don’t feel are working or moving to know what needs to be addressed. Sometimes it’s hard to see because we are so ‘in’ our own lives. Often it’s not until we have broken free that we can see how much of a bind we were in. Your body is always telling you, showing you where things are not right so listen there first.

What happens when you are free and clear? You can manifest like magic. You become fearless, full of love and experience more ease and grace. You realize there is no limit to the depths of love – there is always MORE love to experience. This doesn’t mean that shitty things won’t happen anymore but your ability to cope with what shows up, expands monumentally. Instead of staying weeks or months in a funk you can shift out of it, often in minutes!  You experience more joy, more abundance. But all of it is in direct proportion to how deep you go on the dark side. The dark side is only the unknown, after all.

If you’re ready to go deep and to become a phenomenal lover then drop me a line so we can connect. The people I work with are leaders in their own life and the best lovers because they are open to feel. They take ownership of their feelings and choose to be unstoppable. That sounds pretty sexy to me!

Sending you love and light,

Next time I’ll write more on going deeper into pleasure as a lover, in all aspects of your life. It’s something I’m excited to share with you and it’s super juicy, so stay tuned! x